My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
