oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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