Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
