After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
