i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are all done wearing pants today
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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