Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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