Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Quick, to the slutcave!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
