she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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