she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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