so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
