aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
