He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
