super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
