I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
