nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
