I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
