Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
