for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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