i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
