I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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