i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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