Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
