ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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