So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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