"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I AM VODKA MAN
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
