What did we do last night that was yellow?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
