im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
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I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is my gift to your gina
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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