whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
