please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this beer tastes like vomit already
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
