Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we should paint friendship bongs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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