Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
