pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
