oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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