dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
