no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
