Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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