Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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