I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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