Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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