doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
