Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
