is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
