I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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