I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Two words: blizzard sex
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
