if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
