shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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