When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
