you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
