Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just pynch a tree in the face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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