We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
