She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
