Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
