Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize