you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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