awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
