Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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