She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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