I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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