i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
