if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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