are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
