I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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