If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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