You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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