I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
