Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
