i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
